Life changes when you survive cancer, and lose a leg. It gets more real somehow. Knowing that you have a CaT scan every three months to let you know if you're still cancer-free makes you take things differently. Things matter in a different way. Having one leg makes the world sort of spin right by you. You're here, but not here. People stare then they don't see you anymore. I'm not being bleak, or dark, or maybe I am. I have massive gratitude that the cancer beast is out of my body, but I miss jumping and running.

I may never even update this blog. Sometimes I have a lot of stuff I want to say and if I'm near a keyboard and feel inclined I might put it down here. I don't really _care_ that I'm exposing myself so much, its kind of hard to hide after all. Its a huge part of who I am anyway. This is for me. I have an awesome and blessed life, yet I've been kicked a lot. I've made my life the way it is, yet that nasty cancer has made my life the way it is.

I'm glad I stopped watching the news all of the time. The news is going to keep happening no matter what. I'll hear about it, where I work... after all where I work we help make the news what it is. My beloved job... it pales in comparison to my relationship with my children. That is something I know I'll never lose, for the rest of my life. You know, for the few weeks I have until my next quarterly CaT scan. I know I'm a bad son-of-a-bitch, so good luck taking me out, cancer. I shed you once and I'll do it again.